When you decided to move abroad to be with your partner, you pictured this amazing life together. A life filled with exciting adventures, unique memories and exploration of a new culture.
So what happened to that dream?
A couple of months down the road, and you feel disillusioned.
Things haven’t turned out that way at all.
Instead of adventures, collecting memories and exploring you rather find yourself alone. Alone in an environment that is foreign to you. You feel lonely. Isolated even in a way.
How did things become like that? Where have you taken a wrong turn?
You are not alone
It’s not you. You didn’t take a wrong turn. And you are definitely not alone with this experience.
Feeling alone, lonely and isolated really is quite common among expat partners. I have been there too, and I know from so many others who have had the same experience. In the initial excitement, we tend to underestimate the challenges that come with that move. And some of those challenges are difficult to foresee.
Even though moving abroad was a conscious choice, and hopefully something that you really wanted in the first place, it is a very disruptive situation. It does change life as you know it. Moving to a new country usually means that many significant life changes happen at once.
Here are some of the typical ones related to moving abroad:
- You have quit your job.
- Your partner has started a new job.
- Moving in itself is a big life event, even more so if you move countries.
- You had to say goodbye to friends at your place, maybe also family.
- There are changes in your personal financial situation, or as an entire household.
- You will have to figure out daily life from scratch. Simple things such as where to do groceries, your eating habits, where to go with the kids, and so on.
The list is long. So now does it still surprise you that things turn out more challenging than you expected? Read my previous article on how to overcome challenges with ease for a more general approach and tips.
What to do if loneliness is getting the best of you
Overcoming this draining feeling of being alone as an expat partner is not easy. Where do you get the energy, drive and motivation to put yourself out there when all you feel like doing is to curl up under the blanket and watch Netflix?
I have collected 5 tips that have helped me and my clients and recorded a short video for you. The 5 tips are a mixture of
- things you can actually go and do
- ways to gain a different perspective on things and
- areas in which it will help you to increase self-awareness in order to feel more satisfied and happy with your life abroad.
Make a decision to
be happy abroad
Whatever you do, don’t give in to temptation and just curl up under a blanket with a bag of chips, chocolate or wine. As nice as this might sound in the moment – and it is ok every now and then – it will most definitely not make you happy in the long run.
So make a decision that you deserve a great abroad experience. That you want more from life right now.
And then take steps to create the life you love away from home.
Be happy abroad. Create the life you love away from home.